Shower Hour in the Voomles

Since living in Park home 118 I have noted 3 types of showers

1) Normal Shower: 

This kind of shower entails turning the tap on. This turning action produces sprays of water of an acceptable pressure, temperature and most importantly volume. Normal Showers tend to leave one feeling clean and satisfied

2) Run-around Shower: 

Run-around Showers can be best described as opening the tap to its widest-to which the pipes respond by producing a PATHETIC trickle of water. It has been dubbed the Run-around Shower as one often finds ones self running around the shower trying to get wet; these showers require much precision, focus and strategy.

Run-around Shower: Note the tongue is out indicating intense concentration

3) Waterless Shower:
Waterless Showers are characterised by nothing but air flowing out of the tap in response to opening it-in other words there is NO water-not even one drop to chase. These showers maybe eco friendly, however they are not people friendly as Waterless showers may result in general bad vibes and personality changes.

For the past 6 days we have had the Type 3 shower, namely the Waterless kind, do you know what this does to your mood and head?! You go for a run, sweat like a beast, come home, do the civilised thing and head for the shower and find NO WATER! Chilled vibes, no water I will come back later….6 HOURS later STILL no water. To be honest, it hasn’t been 6 days straight without water, there have been times when we have, but its random-like 2am or when we are not at home. I have triumphed over this adversity and have devised the Mason Mosvold Shower Model^©  it is based on the Kubler-Ross model 5 Stages of Grief (Wikipedia. Internet. 3G. 2011…see footnote for full Harvard reference -naaaat!)

Mason Mosvold Shower Model^©  

Stage 1 – Agitation:

Predicted response: No water! No worries it’s just one night I’ll shower in the morning.

Fig. 1.1. Agitation

Stage 2 – Bleak vibes:

Predicted response: Still no water-that makes me sad, I was looking forward this shower all day. Maybe we will have water tomorrow

Fig. 1.2. Bleak vibes

Stage 3 – Emotional melt down:

Probable observation: Crying without control in foetal position on the shower floor, dreaming about showers or participation in the rain dance.

Fig. 1.3. Emotional melt down

Stage 4 – Gaining from the Pain

Probable Observations: Uncontrollable crying; however hysterical energy is harnessed by crying into buckets

Fig. 1.4. Gaining from the pain

Stage 5 – Adaptation

Probable Observation: Tears harvested from stage 4 are boiled and used for bucket bathing

Fig. 1.5. Adaptation-the Baty Bath