209 Days Later

When the phrase “Can you believe it’s July” comes up in company you know it’s the beginning of the end of that conversation. Although that may be true in some social situations where the awkward turtle looms, I really can’t believe that it’s July (here I was thinking that the order of events of the 2012 calendar would change, alas I have been let down). This means that I’m more than half way through my community service! Yes, I have been in the bush for a total of 209 days and I have survived. I believe that this observation calls for a celebration in the form of a period of reflection. As all good infomercials and well trained health care practitioners do, I have begun the process of reflection by comparing the before and after shots of my journey to date.

On the topic of Driving

Figure 1.1. January 2012 

Scenario: Typical stretch of road in Ingwavuma. This road consists of potholes, mentally challenged road users in taxis called "Jealous Down" (this character is totally fictional), people standing in the middle of the road and the lonely cow on the "pavement". 

My Response: Freak out.

Figure 1.2. July 2012

Scenario: Ingwavuma road, same condition as it was in 7 months ago (it could possibly be worse). This time Mr Jealous Down is having a rally with his equally challenged  friends, potholes have become craters, pedestrians bring a friend and run riot on the road and the cow invites the pig to the "pavement" party.
My Response: Remain calm. Remember the Law of conservation of energy "Energy can never be created or destroyed, it is merely transformed from one form to another".  Harness the energy generated from anxiety by locking your elbow in extension and firmly planting your hand on the hooter to produce sound energy. 


On the Topic of Communication

Figure 2.1. January 2012

Scenario: Me simply trying to ask my patient to turn his head and take a deep breath-but my Zulu vocabulary/lack thereof fails me. 
My Response: Frustration. Note the is a tuft of hair in my right hand and the development of the Niagara Falls at the site of my tear ducts.

Seven months down the line I can say that my Zulu vocabulary has grown slightly, thus crisis depicted in figure 2.1 has been averted. When my memory fails me and the words do not immediately come to mind I try to remain  calm, call a translator or refer to my handy Zulu Physio Phrase book, complied by me and the trusty translators. This handy device along with my expanded vocabulary allows treatment to occur in 4 phases. The phases have been illustrated in figure 2.2.1-2.2.4

Figure 2.2.1. Realisation

Phase 1 - Realisation: 

Me asking the patient to turn their head and take a deep breath. I can ask him to turn his head in Zulu, but I can not remember the phrase "Take a deep breath".

Figure 2.2.2. Racking

Phase 2 - Racking: 

I scratch my chin and rack my brain trying to remember the Zulu word for breath.

Figure 2.2.3. Excalibur

Phase 3 - Excalibur:

Accept that I have forgotten the word or that I didn't bother memorising it to start with and call on Excalibur to enlighten me.

Figure 2.2.4. Triumph

Phase 4 - Triumph

Now that the word has been located, the sentence can be completed and the instruction can be given. This 4 phase process may result in 1 instruction taking 45 minutes, but the triumphant feeling far out weighs the time taken. 



On the Topic of Babies


One of the responsibilities of a therapist at Mosvold is to test the developmental milestones of high risk babies at birth/on discharge after birth and to follow up at 3, 6 and 9 months of age. This task would not be an issue for most therapists as the majority of the population feel warm fuzzy feelings at the sight of a baby. Some members of the population on the other hand,  prefer to keep these fragile treasures at arms length until they are of reasonable age (iow until they resemble people who are able to support their own head instead of beetroot aliens with detachable necks who are only fluent in a language called Cry). For the past 23 years I have applied the Arms Length rule for the safety of babies all around the world and the sake of my blood pressure. New born's, the Arms Length rule and I lived happily in our land of Observation until Maternity ward started referring new born's and premature babies to therapy. My first few encounters with these precious beings were stressful to say the least, but I can say with much pride that since that day until present no one has been hurt! I no longer recoil in fear at the sight of a premature baby, instead I simply find my Big Girl Panties and get the job done.

Figure 3.1. Typical response of females to babies: Doe eyes + Heart pumps custard

Figure 3.2. January 2012: Question: What moves faster than the speed of light?
Answer: Me, when handed a baby younger than 3 months

Figure 3.3. July 2012: Thinking/Clinical reasoning process when receiving a referral for a baby

On the Topic of Exercise

Figure 4.1. January 2012

Scenario: I go for a run fighting the good fight against heart disease and other such like for example co-morbidities. I go for a run, the hills attempt to kill me, the sun attempts to roast me and bystanders taunt me with "I love you baby" and other words of unwanted affection.

My Response: Try to not die up the hill whilst my thighs spontaneously burst into flames. Try and to ignore the taunts whilst I silently seethe. Note the redness of my face is in anger and exhaustion.

Figure 4.2. July 2012

Scenario: I go for a run fighting the good fight against heart disease and other such like for example co-morbidities. I go for a run, the hills attempt to kill me, the sun attempts to roast me and bystanders taunt me with "I love you baby" and other words of unwanted affection.

My Response: Try to not die up the hill whilst my thighs spontaneously burst into flames. Try and to ignore the taunts whilst I silently seethe. Note the redness of my face is in anger and exhaustion.

Yes, both the scenario and the response have been copied and pasted as only the distance run has changed.

On the Topic of Subjective Evaluation

Figure 5.1. January 2012

Scenario: I ask the dreaded "Upethwe yini" (what are you here for) and unleash Pandora's box as the patient gives long answers in "deep" Zulu.

My Response: As I frantically try to decipher the patients story my brain short circuits and I drown in a sea of words I do not know.

Figure 5.2. July 2012

Scenario:  I ask "upethwe yini?" 

My Response: I climb into my proverbial life raft anticipating the the flood of words that will be unleashed in response to my question. As the words flow I listen intently, fishing out words which sounds familiar (eg. buhlungu which means pain) and slowly put the story together. 

On the Topic of Distance

7 months ago visiting a place that was more than 30minutes away was seen as a road trip. As a newly licensed driver and privileged Capetonian who is used to having most places of interest a mere 15-20 minutes away this whole "living-in-the-middle-of-nowhere" and driving an average of 1.5 hours to "pop in" concept was new to me. Needless to say the first few months of driving here was an experience; I almost literally had to have my more experienced co-drivers hold my hand as I drove on the never ending N2 from The Voom to Durban/any other destination of choice. More recently the concept of distance has become relative-it's relative to the event, the predicted vibe, co-drivers, number of passengers and levels of desperation.

Figure 6.1. January 2012

Scenario: Friend tells me they are in Durban for the weekend, they would like to see me (clearly friend has not Googled distance, travel time, petrol price and satellite map view of road from Ingwavuma to Durban).

My Response: Caught in a sea of emotions-would love to see a familiar face + civilisation (also referred to as “big city lights”), but am scared of the N2, trucks and daredevil/mentally challenged drivers.

Figure 6.2. July 2012

Scenario: Friend tells me they are in Durban for the weekend, they would like to see me.

My Response: Challenge accepted.


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Legends of Mosvold

In the space of 1 month I have had the unfortunate task of saying goodbye to 2 dear friends - this is significant when one considers the limited "youthful" population in the delightful hamlet of Ingwavuma. The young population that I have the privilege of rubbing shoulders with comes from a number of sources namely fellow comm serves, other hospital employees and elective students (elective students are studying something in the medical profession, they come to Mosvold Hospital to gain exposure in their field of interest). Each person who has come and gone has shared something with us, whether it's a life changing lesson, a fantastical memory or something totally insignificant yet memorable. 


Dr Yan, Daisy and The Germans


Dr Yan was an Australian student from the University of Queensland in her final year of medicine. Dr Yan came at a "sensitive" time ie our 2nd week of comm serve and remained with us for 2 months. We had many escapades with Dr Yan, she introduced us the fantastical Panasonic Lumix camera (which I would dearly like to possess-anyone who is kind enough to donate one to me will be my Bestie forev's yo!) she also taught us the amazing asymmetrical plait which I sport on a regular basis. In addition to this she imparted the microwave chocolate cake recipe  to us-this recipe has brought many a chocoholic through their withdrawal. A month after Dr Yan came we were joined by Daisy and The Germans from Scotland and Germany respectively. Daisy and The Germans were also medical students who stayed for 1 month. With this lot of lovely ladies we developed the Sodwana Bay Party Patrol where we courageously fought off Vervet monkies, suffered the consequences of falling asleep on deck chairs, squeezed 6 ladies into an Opel Corsa and braved cyclone Irena insearch of the Big 5 at Tembe elephant park - during this expedition we coined the phrase "Germans on the roof". These ladies brought much delight to our lives in the form of sundowners on the airstrip, baked goods, many laughs and general merriment. 

Dr Yan

    

Daisy

German 1

German 2

Sweet-Cheeks and Schmilkins

Sweet-Cheeks and Schmilkins were 2 delightful young lads from UCT who graced us with their presence for 1 month; they came bearing Swiss army knives, Shox and woven friendship bangles. With them around we found ourselves foraging for firewood, summiting the water tower for star gazing purposes  and sauntering down the mountain side to enjoy sundowners overlooking Swaziland (you have to take guys with to this spot, it's too risky going with ladies only). Schmilkins and Sweet-Cheeks taught us the importance of knocking on a closed door before entering and introduced us to a rather liberating version of Social Research (aka "open" Facebook stalking). "Open" Facebook stalking differs from everyday stalking as the Stalker researches the Facebook page of the Stalk-ee (iow the newly added friend) in the presence of the Stalk-ee. In doing so the Stalk-ee is able to give running commentary of their virtual life and the Stalker is able ask any questions regarding mutual friends, wall posts, bystanders in profile pictures etc. In my opinion of life in general this method of research should be practised as it dispels any doubts, fears and illusions. 

Schmilkins

Sweet-Cheeks

Brook Shields and McDizzle


The latest addition to the Mosvold wall of Legends are Brook Shields and McDizzle, 2 very promising second year physio students from Tukkies. Although their stay was the shortest (1 week) it was most splendid. With these 2 ladies at our side we enjoyed far too much chocolate, ukulele jam sessions and charades. During this week I observed the marked difference that the presence of a 4x4 makes on a 4x4 trail, the joy of playing the shaker- as it is the "cherry on top" in all songs; in addition to this I perfected my charading skills as I had the joy of to "supervising" them-with every patient I saw with them I assumed a different persona of past lecturers.   

Brook Shields

McDizzle

Ton-Dawg and Baby Spice

Ton-Dawg and Baby Spice have been the life and soul of my day-to-day party for the past 5 months. They say that home is not a place instead it's a feeling-I was blessed to have 2 friends who made the Voomles home for me within a matter of days. If it was not for these 2 treasure pies I would have up and left Ingwavuma 7 months ago! 

Ton-Dawg  is a dietician who survived the thriving metropolis of Ingwavuma for a whopping 2.5 years, by default she has been dubbed Mama Mosvold. Since Mama Mosvold was here the longest and has figured out the workings behind the Mosvold Circus she became my go-to person. Whether it was to determine the road worthiness of an otherwise questionable hospital vehicle or to find out how/who to go to to get a job done Mama Mosvold was always a phone call away. Prior to coming to Mosvold I managed to get more info out of her regarding my accommodation than I got out of the guys at HR. Mama Mosvold was more than just a mama of hospital admin she is also a Master Chef with a wicked sense of humour and a fantastical streak of mischief (which lends itself out to hiding in car boots to scare security on occasion).

Ton-Dawg

Baby Spice is a dietician who hails from the wonderful West Coast in the Western Cape, this treasure pie allowed me to bask in her presence for 5 whole months. Baby Spice acted as my beach buddy, my running buddy and my buddy buddy. She has seen me at my best (namely basking in the sun on the beach with a chocolate product in reach) and at my worst (after clinic with dangerously low sugar levels and after running up yet another murderous hill in Ingwavuma). With Baby Spice around I witnessed Women's Health in its true form, drove with woman who had driving skills likened to those of Michael Schumaker and learnt many fantastical recipes. 

Baby Spice

And there you have it the list Legends of Mosvold to date. Moral of the story-come to Mosvold-we have goats, cows, epic sunsets and summer in the middle of winter. 

Happiness and general warm fuzzy feelings when the Student Park Home is occupied by students

General blandness when the Student Park Home is student-less...note the sun, sky and grass are not as bright