On the topic of Driving
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| Figure 1.1. January 2012 |
Scenario: Typical stretch of road in Ingwavuma. This road consists of potholes, mentally challenged road users in taxis called "Jealous Down" (this character is totally fictional), people standing in the middle of the road and the lonely cow on the "pavement".
Scenario: Ingwavuma road, same condition as it was in 7 months ago (it could possibly be worse). This time Mr Jealous Down is having a rally with his equally challenged friends, potholes have become craters, pedestrians bring a friend and run riot on the road and the cow invites the pig to the "pavement" party.
My Response: Remain calm. Remember the Law of conservation of energy "Energy can never be created or destroyed, it is merely transformed from one form to another". Harness the energy generated from anxiety by locking your elbow in extension and firmly planting your hand on the hooter to produce sound energy.
On the Topic of Communication
Scenario: Me simply trying to ask my patient to turn his head and take a deep breath-but my Zulu vocabulary/lack thereof fails me.
My Response: Frustration. Note the is a tuft of hair in my right hand and the development of the Niagara Falls at the site of my tear ducts.
Seven months down the line I can say that my Zulu vocabulary has grown slightly, thus crisis depicted in figure 2.1 has been averted. When my memory fails me and the words do not immediately come to mind I try to remain calm, call a translator or refer to my handy Zulu Physio Phrase book, complied by me and the trusty translators. This handy device along with my expanded vocabulary allows treatment to occur in 4 phases. The phases have been illustrated in figure 2.2.1-2.2.4
Phase 4 - Triumph
My Response: Freak out.
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| Figure 1.2. July 2012 |
My Response: Remain calm. Remember the Law of conservation of energy "Energy can never be created or destroyed, it is merely transformed from one form to another". Harness the energy generated from anxiety by locking your elbow in extension and firmly planting your hand on the hooter to produce sound energy.
On the Topic of Communication
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| Figure 2.1. January 2012 |
My Response: Frustration. Note the is a tuft of hair in my right hand and the development of the Niagara Falls at the site of my tear ducts.
Seven months down the line I can say that my Zulu vocabulary has grown slightly, thus crisis depicted in figure 2.1 has been averted. When my memory fails me and the words do not immediately come to mind I try to remain calm, call a translator or refer to my handy Zulu Physio Phrase book, complied by me and the trusty translators. This handy device along with my expanded vocabulary allows treatment to occur in 4 phases. The phases have been illustrated in figure 2.2.1-2.2.4
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| Figure 2.2.1. Realisation |
Phase 1 - Realisation:
Me asking the patient to turn their head and take a deep breath. I can ask him to turn his head in Zulu, but I can not remember the phrase "Take a deep breath".
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| Figure 2.2.2. Racking |
Phase 2 - Racking:
I scratch my chin and rack my brain trying to remember the Zulu word for breath.
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| Figure 2.2.3. Excalibur |
Phase 3 - Excalibur:
Accept that I have forgotten the word or that I didn't bother memorising it to start with and call on Excalibur to enlighten me.
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| Figure 2.2.4. Triumph |
Now that the word has been located, the sentence can be completed and the instruction can be given. This 4 phase process may result in 1 instruction taking 45 minutes, but the triumphant feeling far out weighs the time taken.
On the Topic of Babies
One of the responsibilities of a therapist at Mosvold is to test the developmental milestones of high risk babies at birth/on discharge after birth and to follow up at 3, 6 and 9 months of age. This task would not be an issue for most therapists as the majority of the population feel warm fuzzy feelings at the sight of a baby. Some members of the population on the other hand, prefer to keep these fragile treasures at arms length until they are of reasonable age (iow until they resemble people who are able to support their own head instead of beetroot aliens with detachable necks who are only fluent in a language called Cry). For the past 23 years I have applied the Arms Length rule for the safety of babies all around the world and the sake of my blood pressure. New born's, the Arms Length rule and I lived happily in our land of Observation until Maternity ward started referring new born's and premature babies to therapy. My first few encounters with these precious beings were stressful to say the least, but I can say with much pride that since that day until present no one has been hurt! I no longer recoil in fear at the sight of a premature baby, instead I simply find my Big Girl Panties and get the job done.
On the Topic of Babies
One of the responsibilities of a therapist at Mosvold is to test the developmental milestones of high risk babies at birth/on discharge after birth and to follow up at 3, 6 and 9 months of age. This task would not be an issue for most therapists as the majority of the population feel warm fuzzy feelings at the sight of a baby. Some members of the population on the other hand, prefer to keep these fragile treasures at arms length until they are of reasonable age (iow until they resemble people who are able to support their own head instead of beetroot aliens with detachable necks who are only fluent in a language called Cry). For the past 23 years I have applied the Arms Length rule for the safety of babies all around the world and the sake of my blood pressure. New born's, the Arms Length rule and I lived happily in our land of Observation until Maternity ward started referring new born's and premature babies to therapy. My first few encounters with these precious beings were stressful to say the least, but I can say with much pride that since that day until present no one has been hurt! I no longer recoil in fear at the sight of a premature baby, instead I simply find my Big Girl Panties and get the job done.
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| Figure 3.1. Typical response of females to babies: Doe eyes + Heart pumps custard |
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| Figure 3.2. January 2012: Question: What moves faster than the speed of light? Answer: Me, when handed a baby younger than 3 months |
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| Figure 3.3. July 2012: Thinking/Clinical reasoning process when receiving a referral for a baby |
On the Topic of Exercise
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| Figure 4.1. January 2012 |
Scenario: I go for a run fighting the good fight against heart disease and other such like for example co-morbidities. I go for a run, the hills attempt to kill me, the sun attempts to roast me and bystanders taunt me with "I love you baby" and other words of unwanted affection.
My Response: Try to not die up the hill whilst my thighs spontaneously burst into flames. Try and to ignore the taunts whilst I silently seethe. Note the redness of my face is in anger and exhaustion.
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| Figure 4.2. July 2012 |
Scenario: I go for a run fighting the good fight against heart disease and other such like for example co-morbidities. I go for a run, the hills attempt to kill me, the sun attempts to roast me and bystanders taunt me with "I love you baby" and other words of unwanted affection.
My Response: Try to not die up the hill whilst my thighs spontaneously burst into flames. Try and to ignore the taunts whilst I silently seethe. Note the redness of my face is in anger and exhaustion.
Yes, both the scenario and the response have been copied and pasted as only the distance run has changed.
On the Topic of Subjective Evaluation
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| Figure 5.1. January 2012 |
Scenario: I ask the dreaded "Upethwe yini" (what are you here for) and unleash Pandora's box as the patient gives long answers in "deep" Zulu.
My Response: As I frantically try to decipher the patients story my brain short circuits and I drown in a sea of words I do not know.
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| Figure 5.2. July 2012 |
Scenario: I ask "upethwe yini?"
My Response: I climb into my proverbial life raft anticipating the the flood of words that will be unleashed in response to my question. As the words flow I listen intently, fishing out words which sounds familiar (eg. buhlungu which means pain) and slowly put the story together.
On the Topic of Distance
7 months ago visiting a place that was more than 30minutes away was seen as a road trip. As a newly licensed driver and privileged Capetonian who is used to having most places of interest a mere 15-20 minutes away this whole "living-in-the-middle-of-nowhere" and driving an average of 1.5 hours to "pop in" concept was new to me. Needless to say the first few months of driving here was an experience; I almost literally had to have my more experienced co-drivers hold my hand as I drove on the never ending N2 from The Voom to Durban/any other destination of choice. More recently the concept of distance has become relative-it's relative to the event, the predicted vibe, co-drivers, number of passengers and levels of desperation.
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| Figure 6.1. January 2012 |
Scenario: Friend tells me they are in Durban for the weekend, they would like to see me (clearly
friend has not Googled distance, travel time, petrol price
and satellite map view of road from Ingwavuma to Durban
My Response: Caught in a sea of emotions-would
love to see a familiar face + civilisation (also referred to as “big city
lights”), but am scared of the N2, trucks and daredevil/mentally challenged drivers.
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| Figure 6.2. July 2012 |
Scenario: Friend tells me they are in Durban
My Response: Challenge accepted.
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haha love it trace. i lol'd :) x
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