Growing Pains

My glorious plan for 2013 was to pack my bags and head for the UK to pursue my dream of exploring Europe whilst gaining enough skills and experience to become the world’s most amazing physio. However, I got God's memo for the change in plan when I discovered that I am not eligible to apply for a UK working visa as I have a South African passport. I considered physio in Australia but later found that I would have to sell my spleen and maybe my liver to fund the whole accreditation process. Seeing as I have taken a liking to both my spleen and liver and the doors leading to the UK have been gently slammed shut by travelling policies; I have started process of job hunting for 2013. I have come to find that the process of job hunting is a 3 part process that starts and ends in marketing. 

Marketing: Part 1 of 2 - Compiling your Curriculum Vitae

CV’s are confusing creatures as you find yourself trying to cram 23 years worth of activity and experience onto 2 A4 sheets of paper. This info should be concise-yet descriptive, it should be well formatted and punctuated properly as "first impressions count". I addition to this you CV should be worded well to reflect what a well-rounded and generally spectacular human being you are without turning it into a 5 page essay with unnecessary info, illusions and exaggerations. Once you successfully squish your life story on a postage stamp you can move to The Hunt-the second step in the process.

Your CV-basically your life story on a postage stamp

The Hunt:

The Hunt is pretty straight forward-log on the internet, phone a friend or pick up The Classifieds and search for an advert that has not yet expired. Find a post in the region of your choice and in your area of interest and get your CV out there. Then you wait with baited breath for a response. There are 3 possible responses with associated emotions: 

Response A: No

Associated Emotion:

i)   Despair, denial, depressed, distressed. May be associated with some  degree of confusion

ii)   Indifferent

Response B: Pending

No response-thus assume “no” until stated otherwise.

Associated Emotion:

One may find one’s self in a vortex of emotion. 

Characteristics:  

Wide set eyes indicating silent confusion and inner turmoil.

May ask soul searching questions like “Did my awesome-ness stun them to silence? Or did they find my font offensive?”

Response C: Yes

Associated Emotion:

Pride, joy, hope, general happiness and optimism

Characteristics:

Individual may enter Eager Beaver mode (EBM)

EBM Features:

Bright eyes + bushy tail = Optimism

Buck teeth = Devour academic material 

Pin on beaver ears = The job hunt equivalent of "Big Girl Panties" / war paint

Employer's Response and Associated Emotions

Marketing: Part 2 of 2 – The Interview (AKA The Response to the Response)

Since living in the bush the whole interview process has somewhat changed for me. I have gone from the familiar face-to-face interview to the newly acquainted telephonic one. In my youth interviews were chilled. You sit in a waiting room, get summoned and do your thing. Shake hands, answer some questions and if you manage to muster enough courage and wit you may find the time crack a few jokes in between. I find face-to-face interviews to be  fun and somewhat interesting; telephonic interviews on the other hand have become the stun gun of my existence. When asked questions I find myself having multiple outer body experiences. I feel my brain constructing coherent sentences that aim to reflect my years of experience, my wealth of knowledge and logical thought process. My tongue on the other hand seems to feel that telephonic interviews are the perfect opportunity to practise its free styling and improvisation skills. 

Figure 1: The Dream - How I would like to sound: Calm, cool and collected-basically unleash my inner genius
Figure 2: Reality -  My interpretation of the "Outer Body Experience"

This outer body experience is not a new phenomena, I was first introduced to it as a student during my practical exam discussion. During the discussion lecturer had the opportunity question my treatment and evaluation choices to test my clinical reasoning. As a student these outer body experiences happened in a controlled environment.  My examiners had supervised me for the whole block, thus knew that my nerves were the source of this phenomena. Potential employers on the other hand do not have this inside information.

Outer Body Experience at undergraduate level

Not knowing what 2013 holds may be frustrating and worrying at times, but I take comfort in knowing that where ever I am is precisely where God wants me to be.

Note to all potential employers: Just pick me!